Finding · the · Balance

So I (wasted?) spent (most of) the remainder of the weekend fantasizing, turning into a wanton slutty troll of the dark side of the internet... to say there is an incredible amount out there is a massive understatement.
Wow.
Not that I'm entirely new to the concept, but... wow.
I started reading (further, yes) about BDSM and the idea of withholding orgasm.  Hmmm.
Of course on Saturday, as you know if you read the previous post, I was so horny I couldn't think of anything but getting off.  Before I did though, I wanted to test myself a little.
While I have always had quite nice tits, and I love them - my favorite body part - sensitive, pink, pert, ready, love to be touched, squeezed, pinched... almost whatever you want - I still walk around in padded bras, or tops thick enough to god forbid show their 'true' form (and if I'm 'standing at attention').  
So it was a big deal for me, to walk out of my house in a cupless bra.  Being a novice, I took an old bra and just cut out the cups.  I put on a relatively thin, dark (not ready for more, yet), and walked the few miles to the grocery store.
How FREE I felt!  And yes, of course, so much more turned on.  And funny, I'm sure no one else thought anything of it.
I made a point of standing up straight, chest out.  I took my time in the freezer section.
Perhaps to most, this is nothing.
It was an exciting first step for me.
Unfortunately, as I was quick and soon to learn, the moment I got home, I got out my vibrator and came very hard.
That's unfortunate because, when I'm on my own, the moment I cum, it's gone.  All of it.  I suddenly feel like I've wasted time on silly ideas and silly libidinous things.
I had wanted to see how much further I could go, and thought if I did make myself cum, I would force myself to continue thinking of things to do, etc.
I need to find that balance between the right and proper busy girl, and the horny dirty little slut.

Having said that, I did wake up on Sunday with further nasty thoughts, and this time, I told myself I would hold off as long as possible.  I found a chatroom - a very murky area - and ended up talking to (or should I say, being instructed by) someone for a few hours.  How time flies, eh?
Note:  I am being smart; I have no intention of meeting anyone in person, regardless.  I can't wrap my mind around meeting a total stranger off the net after you've had extremely graphic conversations about sex.  Maybe that's the prude in me, but... I'm okay with that.
He made me do things I not only would never have thought of, but never thought I'd like.
I knew I liked some pain, some bondage, some dirty talk, but my goodness.

(if anyone is concerned, I don't even remember the guy's name, so no chance of getting tempted or lured into anything unsafe!)

Where I am:	the bedroom
How I'm feeling:	anticipating